Featured expert for Elite Daily read it here.
‘Whether you're feeling upset and unsettled about how the breakup happened and you want to send some spicy texts about it or if you're thinking that you want to see your ex again — the end of a relationship can come with a mixture of feelings. With the lingering pain and confusion of heartbreak, it's not always easy to know what the best way to move forward is. According to Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, and well-being coach, taking some space and time for yourself after a breakup (i.e. not texting your ex every time you want to) can be the first step in really starting to heal. "A breakup is also a time for an individual to get back in touch with themselves," Melamed tells Elite Daily. "Too much contact can be distracting or interrupt the process of healing."
Of course, if you and your partner shared a pet together or you both play on the same intramural team, Melamed attests that it may feel impossible not to talk to them after a breakup. "A lot of times, couples will have shared responsibilities that could outlast the relationship that require communication and coordination," Melamed says. "In these cases speaking is inevitable." If you and your partner lived together or you have the same friends, texting after a breakup may be a helpful way to communicate.
Still, Melamed shares that if you're not totally over the breakup, speaking to your ex can prolong your own healing — especially if they're starting to see new people or have moved on themselves. If you stopped going to painting classes during your relationship or you spent the last nine months helping your ex edit their resumé to help them get a new job, the end of a relationship can be a great time to fully invest back in yourself and your happiness. And according to Melamed, once you start to put all your time and energy back into living your own life — you may find you don't really feel any need to reach out to your ex.’
